Soliloquy

Awed

2009-04-18T11:27:00.000-07:00

Would just like to share something that I feel is incredibly inspiring :)

Lucy Symons who is currently in Aiesec International recently went on an expedition to Antarctica, led by Robert Swan who founded 2041, an organization dedicated towards the preservation of Antarctica through the promotion of recycling, renewable energy and sustainability to combat the effects of climate change.

Photos courtesy of John Luck

Do check out the video on the homepage of 2041 which just gives you an idea of how breathtakingly beautiful Antarctica is and the impact of global warming on what seems like Heaven on Earth.

http://www.2041.com/

But not just in Antarctica, climate change is happening all around us; bushfire in Victoria, floods in Queensland, snowstorms in London. So hop over to the green thing on what specific actions you can take to ensure a sustainable environment :)

http://www.dothegreenthing.com/

Up Up & Away...

2009-02-24T00:10:00.000-08:00

As I sit on my backyard, looking at the white puffy clouds ease by, listening to Mayer, I think it is apt to reflect back on the months and even year that went by.

The trip away was great, sorta the first big break after uni. Seeing familiar faces back home, things that brought back childhood memories, food glorious food that is truly incomparable, you wonder why you left, the comfort of home enveloped.

Then you flew to the first independent adventure (sorta, with mom in tow but hey, that adds to the challenge!) Unfamiliar grounds called for new-found navigation skills. Each day ahead brought new experiences, some good, some bad, some better, some worse but all the more enriching.

My favourite moments are:

1) The moment I walked through an opening into a lookout of the breathtaking Vltava River at Vysehrad;

2) The chiming of the bells at the top of the La Sagrada Familia tower;

3) The atmosphere at Park Guell with the lazy afternoon sun beaming against the backdrop of beautiful Barcelona with different music by buskers all around.

Other highlights include:

Cultural escapade at Granada with the visiting of the Moorish influenced Alhambra in the morning, followed by a traditional tapas lunch and yumcha at an arabic Kasbah tea house, followed by a massage at the Arab baths and finally, a Flamenco performance to end the night;

Sitting in a very bumpy train ride over cobblestones through Toledo to see the view of the old capital of Spain which retained most of its charms til today;

Seeing old friends, new friends, all very much missed;

AND The top would be hanging with the bro and the sis after 2+ years apart :)

But of course, the biggest adventure would be the stolen passport and having something taken from you without your knowledge/permission not once, not twice but freaking THREE times! The incident at Madrid unveiled the very thing that I'm most afraid of, that I'm unable to survive or be independent on my own. Emotionally, I was a wreck but at the same time, it forged a bond with the brother whom I had so often not taken the time to get to know better. Together, we roamed the streets of Madrid, with me often teary and him getting dirty glances from old ladies.

From there, more anticipation and nerve-wrecking anticipation just in case they don't let me into London, the theft on the plane from Bahrain to KL, the major hassling and begging in the Immigration Dept, the worry of not being able to catch my postponed plane back to Melbourne, the guilt of goyang kaki-ing in Msia while my colleagues cleaned after my mess.

On the other hand, it was the first CNY back home in 2 years, hanging with the Poo at her brand spanking new house so overall, I wouldn't say its entirely a horrific experience to lose one's passport. At the very least, it taught me to be a little less dreamy and a little more realistic. And it did make me really want to come back to work. Yes, work! The craving for routine and stability after all the uncertainty. There's a new-found calmness as well, maybe it's maturity but sometimes it fades away amidst the busy, trying-to-juggle-everything gain life! But ultimately, the person that you have to beat is yourself. The one who challenges you to be the best that you could, not your peers, not your family, not anyone else.

And it did put me off travelling for a while but the itch is coming back again. Lol.. If you ask me, am I still up for Africa, I'm not entirely sure anymore, I am still very very keen but the fear of misfortune, the unforeseen, will loom closely but will that be enough to stop me, I seriously doubt so!

The Extra Mile

2008-10-20T04:55:00.000-07:00

She went beyond where the heavens are
and to the moon said, au revoir.
How naughty to have flown so far
without the permission of Papa.

"That is so beautiful, Maestro," Ospina said to the teacher. "When are you coming back?"

http://www.iht.com/articles/2008/10/20/america/20burro.php

No deeds too small, no dreams too big, to realise~

Cookie Jar by Jack Johnson

2008-07-06T03:41:00.000-07:00

I would turn on the TV but it's so embarrassing
To see all the other people I don't know what they mean
And it was magic at first when they spoke without sound
But now this world is gonna hurt you better turn that thing down
Turn it around

"It wasn't me", says the boy with the gun
"Sure I pulled the trigger but it needed to be done
Cause life's been killing me ever since it begun
You cant blame me cause I'm too young"

"You can't blame me sure the killer was my son
But I didn't teach him to pull the trigger of the gun
It's the killing on this TV screen
You cant blame me its those images he's seen"

Well "You can't blame me", says the media man
Well "I wasn't the one who came up with the plan
I just point my camera at what the people want to see
Man it's a two way mirror and you cant blame me"

"You can't blame me", says the singer of the song
Or the maker of the movie which he based his life on
"It's only entertainment and as anyone can see
The smoke machines and makeup and you cant fool me"

It was you it was me it was every man
We've all got the blood on our hands
We only receive what we demand
And if we want hell then hell's what we'll have

And I would turn on the TV
But it's so embarrassing
To see all the other people
I don't even know what they mean
And it was magic at first
But it let everyone down
And now this world is gonna hurt
You better turn it around
Turn it around

No end to B-L-A-M-E

What If.....

2008-06-22T07:29:00.000-07:00

What if you can leave behind all the material obsessions, the endless expectations & the demands of modern day societies aside?

What if you can embark on this adventure, one so remote, so profound that you're able to immerse and lose yourself in but rediscover the person deep within?

What if you can find all the little joys and wonders of life that you so often miss out on in pursue of the realistic dream?

What if......

Into the Wild tells the journey of Christopher McCandless, a man who was sick of the facades of modern society and the obsession with material comforts, gave his life savings away to charity, burnt his remaining money, cut all his identification and set out on an adventure of a lifetime, seeking the truth of survival out in the wilderness.

Perhaps this is an over-romanticized version of the truth, perhaps this is as most Alaskans regard it as a pointless fuck-up, you can probably guess what's the ending. But I'm not much of a critic, not much of a "I have a strong opinion on everything" kinda person. I act and think with my heart more than my head and like many others, I am sorta struck by this story of this particular man, although I do think that his actions were very harsh on his family.

As Emile Hirsch who portrayed Christopher in the movie said, "A lot of us have this sense of longing for adventure but most of us do not end up pursuing it, not for the wrong reasons though, but Chris did," and in some ways, he became the unlikely hero. There were a lot of arguments detailing how he could have very easily survived provided he had a bit more common sense, carried a map with him, etc. but ultimately, this is a story of a man who defied the norm, who went all out, perhaps too much to seek that unreachable goal.

Now how can we call such a man silly when the rest are so cooped up with chasing the rat race relentlessly, convincing ourselves that it's all going to be worthwhile in the end. Does staying safe and doing what is expected commendable and risking your life and doing the unknown silly? Perhaps, perhaps....

From all my previous posts you can see the sorta struggle that a young adult may face, I might be the minority here but it's definitely not easy to leave everything behind, and go for what the heart truly desires. Sorry the cliche-ness in me begins to resurface.

So the conclusion is, Yes I am moved and yes I did buy the book the following day, and yes I do have a major crush on Emile Hirsch now (giggles like a school girl) and I leave you with a very nicely summed up quote by Sherie Simpson, you can read her article "A Man Made Cold by the Universe" here which provides a more unbiased account of Christopher's story.

"Too late he learned that the hard part isn't walking toward the wilderness to discover the meaning of life. The hard part is returning from the consolations of nature and finding meaning anyway, a meaning lodged within the faithfulness of our ordinary lives, in the plain and painful beauty of our ordinary days."

And finally, feast your eyes!

Here In My Home

2008-05-28T06:31:00.001-07:00

I came upon something pretty cool yes on kennysia.com! Yes I still read his blog despite all the promo stuff, all the launches that he attended, the commercials that he shot, the talks that he gave! Oh well, the guy has come a pretty long way so I'll give him some credit for that.

My favourite part of his blog is the small talk at the top of his every post. Some of them are pretty interesting and that's where I came upon Malaysian Artistes for Unity :) It started off with this guy, Pete Teo, an independent singer/song-writer gathering a few of his celeb frens to make this video and song about anti-racism, and unity and solidarity, overcoming differences, seeing and feeling the love. Check out their website for more info http://www.malaysianartistesforunity.info/

So yeah kudos to those who take the first steps, however small, however insignificant, to bridge the gap. It's really up to our generation I believe and kudos to the bunch who dares face the inevitable, to voice it out, to put it out there, smack, it's not a stigma, it's every part of our daily lives and before u fix it, you gotta face it first :) Another step forward for Malaysia!

Where do we stand?

2008-05-18T07:29:00.000-07:00

The Kite Runner tells the tale of friendship between 2 most unlikely individuals; a Hazara and a Sunni (Hazara being the de facto lower caste have been treated under decades of resentment, discrimination and abuse, all the more friendship). We see two boys growing up together, sharing their childhood, finding solace in each other, 1 being the master, the other the loyal servant but more often than not, as friends and even brothers. Finally being torn apart by feelings of insecurity, envy, cowardice and inevitably, their social status.

Besides the plot, readers were introduced to the cultures of Afghanistan; Buzkashi (similar to polo but hitting a goat carcass instead) and Gudiparan Bazi (kite-flying) as well as the historical background from the early invasion of the Soviet union in the 1970s to the emergence of the Mujahideen factions and of coz, the Talibans.

There were a lot of things that moved me in this book, the unwavering loyalty of the servant; "For you, a thousand times over", how ironic it is that the more you have, the less you become, the ties between father and son and an account or a glimpse into the life of the people of Afghanistan, past and present. What angers me is the inhumane treatment of human towards another human. Does skin colour or ethnicity matters so much? Does what your fore fathers did necessarily have to impact on the relationship between the present humankind? Is the history not there to learn and improve on but rather what we see is a continuation of what that shouldn't have been. I might be oversimplying things, afterall these are big issues and big problems but how I do wish that sometimes, people can just see each other as well people.

I was fortunate to attend a fund-raising event organized by a friend who wants to raise awareness and funds for the Invisible Women of Afghanistan. Most would have heard of the worst that these women had been undergoing but few would have known how to react or how to help but my friend and her sisters pooled together their resources and organized a night of great Afghan food, music and more importantly, advocacy and raising the money for this issue.

The event was very successful, the food was splendid. It was held in Nights of Kabul, an authentic Afghan restaurant which is a short walk from the Oakleigh station. The food is genuinely very tasty and it offers live Afghan music which I believe added a bit more spice to the food :) My lousy camera phone does this place no justice but do check it out if you are interested. www.nightsofkabul.com.au

Will put up proper video of the rubab and tabla performance soon. The tabla was played by tapping the fingers and palms on the instrument but what's really special is that when the person is playing, he's actually tapping out the lyrics of the song so for someone who knows the song, he or she knows exactly what the song is about without any words having to be said. One of the songs played was about the end of winter when the fields blossom again and lovers will walk through the field hand in hand.

There was also a guest speaker, Carmela Baranowska, the film-maker of Taliban Country, a documentary on the oppression of the American troops towards the locals in Afghanistan (you wonder whether it will ever end) and a representative from Revolutionary Association of Women of Afghanistan (RAWA), an independent organization fighting for human rights and social justice for the women of Afghanistan. One of the outcome of RAWA is Malalai Joya, who became the first women voted into the parliament only to be suspended by her fellow parliamentarians because she outrightly spoke the truth about the condition of her country and the plight of her people if the country is to fall into the hands of the high clergy members and fundamentalist leaders yet again.

I also had the rare opportunity to try on a Burqa (more photos later). The holes at the front were soo small, it was a wonder that I can actually see through it at all. The top part of the Burqa is really tight, I thought it just didn't fit me, I do have a big head but later on, I found out that everyone felt the same. It might be designed in such a way that when women wear it, it was meant to make them feel repressive. It is actually a very beautiful and intricate piece of clothing but the fact that women are being forced to wear it, how it restrict not only their movement but their freedom makes it so repulsive. I could not imagine having to wear it 24/7, everytime, everywhere and the truth is there is nothing in the Quran that impose the need for this treatment of women.

I was also very grateful for the fact that I had the chance to meet the real life characters of the book, not Amir or Hassan, but the people who did live through the war, the people who had no choice but to escape, to seek refuge in other countries under such extreme conditions, only to be held in detention centres for years when they thought they reached their haven. It is amazing looking across the table at someone who has been through so much but at the same time, they seemed so normal, speaking with such humility and matter of factly of what happened. It is amazing looking at the scars on their hands from their kite-flying days when I have just been reading about it 2 days ago, how Khaled Hosseini was describing in order to win the battle of the longest surviving kite, the kite-flyer held on tightly to the strings which cut through their skin and leave them with the scars that will be paraded when school starts, a testimony of the success that they had.

When I was reading the Kite Runner, I was adamant not to put down the book til I finish reading it although it was nearly 5 am and I had work the next day, I wanted to know the ending, a good one preferably. And when I did finish, I realize this is far from the ending, not for the real people of Afghanistan. For most, this is only the beginning, the beginning of a long, long journey.

We, living in our perfect lil bubble, never to have seen any real life crisis of this world, where do we stand?

Ps: For anyone who's interested in watching the Taliban Country, Invisible Women will be holding a fund-raising screening, so do let me know if you're interested!

Word of the Day....

2008-05-14T06:49:00.000-07:00

PUTIK KAPAS !!!

www.comstock.com

You know you miss home when lil words like these excite you ! Not the picture, the words! The picture is an accidental discovery and well it makes putik kapas feels erm... pretty exciting :p Lol..

Jeannie and I agreed that Putik sounds like Tetek, that's why we like it :)

I Miss......

2008-04-27T05:45:00.000-07:00

Looking into Jeannie's room from my study desk and signaling whatever, usually me being hungry and blowing kisses. Lol..

Kacau-in Daniel in the library during Swot Vac and how he's the witness of the more peculiar events happening in the library, eg. wanker in the 2nd floor toilet (that's Damien's actually, I mean not that he's the wanker but he's the founder of the wanker) Lol.. and the couples 'studying' in the library.

Walking back to IH after uni along Royal Parade; the tranquility, the leaves falling or just the trees. It's such a beautiful walk, wish I had opted for the tram less :(

These are but a few of the occasional flashes in my mind lately but I reckon it's more of a series of (cue: deng deng deng) "The Uni Life Withdrawal Symptom!" (Pang, Pang, Pang) BRawlss & stamps feet on the ground :(

Ps: Driving's a bitch, no wait learning to drive is a bitch!

Ooh am looking forward to Cafe Preview :)

Introducing the Incredible Mr Jack Johnson

2008-04-24T05:25:00.000-07:00

So so I know I've been bad, really really bad for leaving my poor blog totally unattended but of coz I have my reasons; laziness + busy-ness = No post! Tada...

Lol..Anyway, Melbourne is indeed a very eventful city, not so much the city that never sleeps but more of a city in which there's just so much happening! In the past few months, I've had the opportunity to attend 2 concerts, 1 ballet, 1 orchestra, the Australian Open, the Comedy Festival, etc... (half of them free!) It seems like there's always something going on, if you care to look, be it the lil gigs in a cozy bar or a big fest, or just the street performances. I do love this city!

So of coz, first up Mr Jack Johnson.........

What's great :

Surely the music! Have always been a fan of his music but his voice totally blew me away! So strong yet soothing, so captivating, convincing and steady, simpy amazinggg....
The stage backdrop...There's a bloody different backdrop for every single song :) I like...

& the company, pretty random but soo much fun ! Dirty jokes, crazy singing, lots and lots of food (KFC, corn, KFC KFC), wolf-whistling (Bri's a machine!) Hehe..

Well the only bad thing was the weather. Remember Banana Pancakes 'Can you see it's just raining, ain't no need to go outside'. Precisely, don't go outside when it's raining and bloody freezing and the venue being Sydney Myer Bowl and the seats being general admission, we totally freeze our arse off, shivering, laughing, jumping around to keep warm, using the mat as shelter, thank god for Sabs' blanket, her dad's jumper and KFC (lifesaver)! Lol.. There was a very pretty moment when hope was aplenty and we thought everything will be alright, the rainbow was out for a moment but of coz, being Melbourne, it was drizzling gain after that....."(-_-)

Overall, I had such a great great time, thanks guys! Wouldn't have been quite as fun shivering in the rain without y'all and some bloody good music :)

Ps: I didn't rip photos off anyone in this post! Lalala...except well Bri but the photos were taken by Sabs so not counted :p

The Perfect Weekend

2008-03-17T01:04:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the absence, I guess it's really a phase or sorta the hype when you first started :p Lol..

Anyway, t'was the perfect weekend spent on 3 lil events but a big boost to the heart :)

The first one was the Oaktree Foundation's Vision Night for 2008 which saw the handover of Hugh Evans, the founder of Oaktree to a new CEO, David Toohey (both very cute as well! Teehehe..) and the unveiling of Oaktree's Vision for the year. Hugh Evans is such a charismatic and influential speaker and to think that he started Oaktree in his early 20s and the amount of achievements Oaktree has achieved in these past 5 years is just f**king amazing! The Make Poverty History concert, the Schools for Schools project, and a lot lot more, helped Oaktree garner the attention that it deserves, both from the government and the commercial world, MTV Music Awards man! All these amazing projects are channeled towards raising funds and promoting advocacy work in Africa (and other developing countries), to provide education as the basis of change for the youths of Africa, in hope of a better future for them and for the country. What touched me even more was the passion! I know I've talked bout this over and over and most people would have realized by now my blog isn't much of a nice and easy read, it is here I seek to remind and reassure myself of what I want to achieve. Oaktree unites young people with that similar passion and draws on their energy and strengths to provide for those who truly need it and it is with this passion and drive that you see people as young as 18 t0 20, running nation-wide events, really putting themselves out there, for the benefit of others. And the result I believe is, truly rewarding!

Moving on, the night ended with an orchestra performance which of coz involves Heng Lin, my awesome awesome violin teacher (sorta) Lol.. I'm not too big a fan of classical music but to watch, among all the performers, most of them are really old, who played with such vigour and I shall not use that word again, that you become so charged and excited just watching them. Bravo Bravo!! and lil Heng Lin's sitting right behind the conductor but of coz this is another photo I ripped off somewhere. Hehe.. On another note, I think I've improved slightly in my violin, finally, progress after 6 years! Lol.. and I hope this is not the end, I tend to lose priorities sometimes. Teehehe...

www.laphotopro.com

And finally, to cement off a perfect weekend, I had the opportunity to attend a wedding, my first Church Wedding :) OOh the excitement!! Thanks Feeny for inviting me to your sis's wedding which was simply beautiful !! And she is of coz, absolutely stunning! Held at the Scots Church, the one that I've always passed by, looking at the happy couples, wondering whether church weddings are anything like those you see on tv and hell yeah, they are and a million times more endearing in real life !

T'was my weekend as I picked up the bits and pieces on Sunday and returning to work on Monday. I'm really glad that I've settled into working life more at ease now, at least emotionally, I've learnt to accept, no pain, no gain woman! This is what you have to do now so you damn well do it good.....

Shoutout to ma babes : YC, we will get that crazy footloose day :), Izzy who thinks I'm corny :p nice yakking the other day, can't wait for more, Ernnie hang in that crazy bout of uni life and bitch we will soon (yoda style, teehehe..) and Grace Tan, I nak cekik you woman! Macam dah beribu-ribu tahun tak cakap :(

Click-Away!

2008-03-03T00:26:00.000-08:00

Hi everyone,

Here's a worthy site to check out ! Advertisers on Ripple.org will contribute to a course; be it helping a village to feed itself, giving 2 days of free education, 6 days access to clean water or help finance a $100 loan for a day, simply click-away or search on the site :)

Proud to present My AIESEC XP

2008-02-14T02:29:00.000-08:00

It'll be exactly 2 years since the day I touched down in Australia tomorrow and these 2 years have been simply amazing! Uni life's all I expected and more.... The lessons learnt, the friendships made, the self-discoveries, the memories...... This will be the 1st part of a 2 series of reflection of my uni life; 2 short years that I'll never get back and probably the best time of my life !

First up, AIESEC

The passion and belief that I have in this club is endless; the potential, the people ! The fact is simply being in an environment where people with such different diversities, strengths and weaknesses, working together towards this common goal with this passion and desire in them, to make AIESEC work, to make it shine, to show the impact that it has had on ourselves. I long to have this desire in my career path. It showed me it doesn't matter what you do, as long as you have that will, that drive, the focus, to be in a thriving team environment, to feed off each other's positive energy !

AIESEC showed me there's so much more than just a degree, a job, it's always the passion, the people ! I wish I can say I've gotten to know more of the interstaters, the MCs but I'm not much of a conference person although it is fucking awesome. AIESEC MELB 07 : Heidi, you've truly succeeded in bringing the best out of each and every single one of us and paving the way to a much greater year ahead. Just hearing about all the plans for this year made me soo excited !

There's not one team meeting, LCM, MLTM, LCM dinner, social event, networking event, any AIESEC event which I did not enjoy myself. You guys have been such great inspirations to me, the amount of talent, the things I've learnt, the stuffs that just made me go WOW, you guys are f*king amazing, time and time again and it's all because of this crazy thing called AIESEC.

I don't know how I'm gonna go on now that I've graduated. Is this the end? Hell NO ! My internship awaits in 3 years and I've just submitted my application for State Conf OC despite everyone telling me V, you're alumni now, you're not part of the LC ! Lol.. As if guys, it'll take more than that to chase me away !

No matter what, now or ever, I'll miss AIESEC, you ask what does AIESEC mean to me? It means a hell lot, it's a part of me, a part of what I am today, a part of what I'll always be....

Savasana

2008-02-02T00:04:00.000-08:00

The corpse pose : One of my fav in Bikram Yoga, where you lie completely still and the only difference btw you and a corpse is that you're breathing. The heat forces you to push all thoughts out of your head, the thoughts of the outside world, all gone, you are completely still, the only thing that exists is your breathing !

Ah, the wonders of meditating :) I leave you with a picture of Jeero during the Savasana. Namaste....

Picture : Komarix.org

When is it my turn?

2008-02-01T18:10:00.001-08:00

My apologies for the lack of update recently, no it wasn't because our neighbour found out we've been using their internet for free or anything, I'm proud to announce our very own has been set up and is up and running perfectly well :)

It's the lack of inspiration. No thoughts, no urge, no desire to blog. I guess this blog has turned into a sorta place of refuge; a place where I turn to when I just wanna pour my heart out, a place where I turn my thoughts into something a bit more concrete, a bit more structured and well placed. And it's always, more often than not, it's when I have an overwhelming sense of emotions that I blog.

So I suppose you can sense this is gonna be a very melancholy/sombre post and you shouldn't read on if you do not want to be dragged into my sense of helplessness.

Lately has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me. One day, I feel great, I'm loving life, the other days, I'm bitter, sullen and disgruntled. Take yesterday for eg., I was having such a great day at work, my colleagues are such great people, the weather's lovely and when I got home, I got to chat with all 3 of my best friends from high school, this does not happen often at all and we even made plans to go backpacking in Europe end of the year ! I miss them dearly ! All the reminiscence and just talking crap is soo much fun :)

But then later on, I was overcame with this bout of emotions that I so constantly try to suppress.

WHEN IS IT MY TURN?? When do I stop giving myself excuses? When will I dare to take that leap of faith? When do I let passion and desire overcome logic and reasoning? I've been telling quite a number of people lately of my future plans for fear that if I stop mentioning it, I'll just remain the way that I am. There's completely nothing wrong with what I'm doing now. It's the most reasonable, safe and right thing to do (Apply for PR, get my CA first, earn some cash, appease my parents but at the same time, I've put myself into this position where I'm helpless and simply cannot reject what's in front of me) and all the while, I'm longing for that sense of adventure, ''It was waking up to an adventure everyday rather than a chore". Well, some people might think, oh so you just wanna have fun la? How can? You need to be realistic, where got so much $? But it's the sense of experiencing something totally foreign, totally unaccounted for previously, waking up to a new life, new country, new self, that you begin to see yourself for who you are.

I long for the day I'll be able to do that; to see the world, to soak in all of its wonders.

I long for Africa. I long for the day I actually make lil changes. It is all too typical to link Africa with poverty, corruption, violation of human rights, despotism, all things bad and evil that years of aid and advocacy hasn't seen much return at all but there's something about that land which mystifies me. I long for the day that I'll be able to tell a true story of the beautiful country.

On the more practical side, I have no experience in social development whatsoever, the closest is when I did Foreign Aid under Economics in SAM and Economic Devt in uni so I can be completely delusional when I think that I can actually do this. So what do I do now? Do I stick with what I'm doing and continue on with ma 3 year plan and pray hard that Oaktree will accept me as a volunteer in the meanwhile? Blah..What else can I do ?

I need to go to yoga, it's turned to sorta like a drug for me. I need to clear my thoughts and focus on what I need to do now rather than pine and whine about what I truly want to do.

To Jeannie : Thanks for layaning my bouts of homesickness ! Tung Tung Tung Chiang reflects more than just the CNY spirit now, it'll always remind me of you :p Lol..

To YC : I am so proud of how you've grown and matured into this fine young beautiful woman, sure of what you want to do and daring to put it all out to achieve what you want ! You will achieve so much for Aiesec Spore !

And lastly, to my dear Heidi : Thanks for being that endless source of inspiration, to put that hope there ! Can't wait til you're back and hear all about your adventures :)

And thanks for everyone who read til here ! I hope in 3 years time, there'll be no more excuses, no more doubts ! And to those brave souls who dares live their dreams, life is truly too short....

"When ppl don't have the will to bring about change, something in them dies"

Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy

A Tribute to Heath Ledger

2008-01-23T03:27:00.001-08:00

You're just too good to be true,
Can't take my eyes off you,
You made me feel I'm alive,
I wanna hold you so tight....

The life and death of Health Ledger; captured our hearts when he belted out that song in 10 Things I Hate About You followed by a lot other creditable performances in the Patriot, Monster's Ball, Brokeback, etc...

The biggest reaction that I have when I saw the news was shock, shock, shock ! What would drive such a young and talented actor to end his life? Of coz, the first idea that jumped to mind was suicide which might not be true, hope not! But he wouldn't be the first celebrity to buckle under the spotlight and the pressure that comes along with it. Sex, booze, drugs, how do you keep level-headed with all the temptations? When do you stop before it's too late?

On the other side of the world, well maybe not that far, we see people suffering with barely enough to eat, no shelter, no clean water, living the most basic of life but having a will to live so strong, they'll do anything just to survive! Argh... The irony of life..

I'll miss him; that boyish charm, that beautiful smile, the twinkle in the eye....

May you find happiness wherever you are !

My Lil Canberra Adventure.....

2008-01-21T03:23:00.000-08:00

I finally got round to renewing my passport & yes, I went to Canberra, All by myself ! :) Lalala... Therefore, although it wasn't very exciting, it was still an adventure nonetheless :p So this is what I've found from my trip today :

The Msian embassy looks like Muzium Negara
The consular office looks exactly like the slightly dodgy passport application offices back home including the inefficiency (waited an hour and a half just to submit ma application all the while listening to old aunties and young mommies talking bout kids & babies!!! urgh...) but it's not too bad considering the amount of ppl working plus the lady was nice so no complains :)
The taxi metres start from $4 !! but the taxi drivers are nice and mostly local and 1 of them brought me on a tour to the Parliament's carpark! There's alot of carparks in the Parliament so there's one thing less to worry bout when u go to the Parliament :p plus it's free too apparently
My fav embassy is the Papua New Guinea embassy. If you look closely, it has paintings of faces all over the erm...front of the building. It's really cute :)
The Chinese embassy looks a bit like a temple
And the Americans being Americans have to have the biggest embassy in the area ! Pfftt...
Also took the chance to visit the Canberra Centre which is this biggg arse shopping mall. Initially, I frowned at the idea of spending my day in a shopping mall which I did most of the time in Melb anyway but I got carried away when I saw Forever New (evil grin*) I've chanced upon this store in the most odd places ie. Geelong, Canberra, all but Melb city (but this makes it all the more precious) ! Hehehe....
Canberra offers alot of different culinaries, although prices being slightly more expensive than Melb I reckon, the choices do spoil you.
Last destination of the day is ANU ! Have been to U Syd, UQ and Uni Melb of coz... but fav remains UQ in terms of their sprawling lawns and beautiful lakes befitting a venue for weddings. The only 1 left to visit is UWA; according to Joe, they've white/albino peacocks!! Well, ANU's not too bad too, they do have some lawns, their buildings are mainly made of brown bricks, I only saw 1 modern building. Well let's just say it's Australia's number 1 uni now but I love Uni Melb :)

And finally, it's nice being in a foreign city all by yourself with no set itenary, even no one that you know and just wandering around, absorbing, exploring, like I mentioned before, there' s something calming about the unfamiliarity of it all :) And the best part bout flying is the view from the window when you're above the clouds ! Window seat next time plss...

(Picture : Mitchster)

PSssttt.....

2008-01-19T00:51:00.000-08:00

What will you do if you know you'll be leaving the person who you love more than anything else in the world forever?

What will you do if you know the person who you love more than anything else in the world is leaving you forever?

Thus, begins a journey of love & discovery, corny at times but oh so beautiful....How many big loves do you find in your life? One who shakes you to your core, in this movie, it happens in Ireland where the men are tall and hot and have a scruffy look and can sing and swipe you off your feet... (Gerald Butler is soo hot ! and he's from 300)

Sometimes, you get upset over very little things but it doesn't really take that much to put that smile back on your face :) Go do something different, go watch a movie, go open up your heart and be swept off your feet by this movie !

P.S. I Love You

I wonder....I wonder....

2008-01-19T00:28:00.000-08:00

(Sorry, couldn't find a photo of a girl staring blankly on a train but this post is partly inspired by Lost in Translation:)

Sometimes you wonder, when you've been taking the same train/tram/bus all the time, day by day, but you never reach the end, what's on the other side?

Sometimes you see, people staring out of the window on the train/tram/bus, with that spaced out look in their eyes, you wonder what they are thinking?

Sometimes you wish, you are in a different city, one which you are totally unfamiliar with and you can just sit and stare out of the window til it reaches the very last stop..There's something rather calming and enticing with that at the same time....

And then you realize, it's not the city that matters, it's not the fact that you're in a foreign place, it's the idea of the unfamiliarity which attracts you to ignore the little wonders that you have right at home. As Sarah Jessica Parker said in Sex and the City, she's in love, she has a new lover and it's NYC!

I'm not indicating that I've fallen in love with Melbourne but just that, I've always had a mentality of wanting to be anywhere but here (not Melbourne specifically) so I'm trying to justify all the reasons of wanting to be here and not anywhere else...

On a different note, but probably relating to staring blankly out of the window on a train/tram/ bus, do you wonder when people leave, 1 after another, be it to a different place, different world, and you sort of get left behind, how do you bring back the laughter, the memories, the time gone by? You can't...You can only wish them well, remember and hope that things will still be the same where you left off the next time you see each other.....
(Picture: Shannon)

Currently Missing.....

2008-01-18T23:53:00.000-08:00

(Yes, 1 utama where even finding a carpark spot proves to be an immense challenge (unleashed the ugly side of society) but can be oh so rewarding after that, in the expense of your wallet of coz!)

& with CNY just around the corner,

(CNY songs kept playing in my head, never used to fancy them but now, I wouldn't really mind :) and no, I was not one of those little girls in those CNY video clips!!)

Girls Just Wanna Have Funnnn......

2008-01-12T23:01:00.001-08:00

While on the way to Laksa King the other night, I overheard a conversation on the tram, not that I like eavesdropping on the tram but it's hard not to overhear. Hehe...Anyway, these 2 ladies were talking happily, reminiscing bout their friends ie. Remember the time when who and who thought that she was actually dating a vampire? Lol.. There's nothing like the simplicity and joy of just hanging out with dear good ol girl friends which I've been severely lacking these few years ! But the few good ones would be :

AIESEC girls night out
Dinner at Dada's
Shopping with Mei Tien :))
The supposing weekly meet-ups with Amanda-manda & Jillian
All the good times with Shau Fun

The beauty of friendship is that no matter how long you haven't spoken to each other, how outdated you are of each other's lives, but when you do talk after a long long time, it's as if you're back on the day when you were about to be apart. Missing each and every single one of you !

(I'm not drunk, just very very happy :p)

PS: Sorry I couldnt' find photos with all of us in it, apologies to YH & Feeny ! See what I mean when I said we haven't all met for soo long??

Yummy yummy yummy, I've got food in my tummy

2008-01-12T22:35:00.001-08:00

Well well to give Melbourne some credit, it is indeed a food haven. Here's my Top 4 favourite affordable tastylicious eateries in Melbourne :

Ying Thai at Lygon

(Gotta be the best Thai food ever! Recommended : Pad Thai, Red Duck Curry with Coconut Rice, Minced Meat)

Laksa King in Flemington

(Best Msian food in Melbourne, even matching some back home :) Yum yum yum.... Recommended : Assam Laksa, Fish Head Noodles, Char Kway Teow, Sambal Kangkung). Coming close, Sambal Kampung in Chinatown for its' Fish Curry

IndoChine in BoxHill

(Vietnamese food; refreshing vermicelli cold noodle with hot spicy sauce poured over! Awesomeness :)

Kenzan in GPO

(Delicious soft shell crab sushi and cold noodle for the summer :)

Now now, this is where the yoga class comes in after all these meals...

PS: I know all the photos aren't from the shops but it's just to get your appetite up and running :p

Tanah Airku...

2008-01-12T21:55:00.000-08:00

It's funny how those who are still here in Melbourne long to go home while those back home long to be back in Melbourne. As for me, I belong to the former group of coz ...

I miss the food, the glorious glorious food of Ipoh land, from the hawker stalls to home cooked grandma's food
I miss shopping and facial with mom
I miss seeing the relatives eventho I'm sure comments like "Wah you've grown fatter and darker? Aren't you supposed to get fairer in Australia?" will be abundant '-_-

I don't know what I miss exactly, it's definitely more than that, maybe it's just the feeling of being away from home for too long and I just miss being aside the family... In the past 2 years, Melbourne has grown to become like home but not home-home. Sometimes, when I'm on the tram, I get this weird feeling that hey I'm so used to being in Melbourne but deep in my mind, there's this other place which is home...Weird...but anyhoo, homesickness is in full blast at the moment so just like Frodo and Gandalf (the scenes where they were half dead & they whispered to this lil bird and then this big bird came and picked them up), fly me home !

A Happy Workplace

2008-01-09T23:29:00.001-08:00

SO so I've been working for nearly a week now minus the casual work during last semester and this is what I've found about the Benefits of Working in a Smaller Firm :

Your director buys you ice-cream on a very hot day like today, 41 deg :)
You can wear nearly anything you like on a very hot day like today; walk around barefooted, wear shorts
You get a secret Christmas present
You go bowling together & says "Imagine the pins as your boss" to your boss
You get less exposure in terms of the big clients but you get to do more and try out a bit of everything ie. HR, Audit, Tax
You go home at 5.20
You get RDO every 2 weeks

So basically, there ain't as much benefits compared to bigg firms but you get so much more at the same time ! It's almost like 1 big family minus the work of coz :P

On a different note, over a dinner conversation, friends and I were discussing bout how we're sorta nearly adults now, soon we'll be talking differently :

Talk bout buying car/house/investments
Talk bout getting married/honeymoon/wedding stuff
Talk bout kids (shudders in horror) ie. eh which school your son going to? what results did he get? Oh yes ar, my son did this this this wor, what your son did ???

OH MY GOD !!! Can't imagine....First touch of reality, over lunch in the office today, "This house is how much, how much....you should buy a house near a supermarket.....this area is better...." Arrrr....save me!!

Bikram Yoga

2008-01-08T04:28:00.001-08:00

Stretch....Breathe in, breathe out..Reach out as far as you could!! Panting, panting, drew in huge gasps of air!!

Firrrrrfiirrrfirrrfirst yoga class in 2 years
1 and a half hours long
Nearly fainted
Felt nauseous
Specially heated room
Never sweat so much in my life before
Wonder what it'll be like if someone farted or if I farted in specially heated room...
Introductory offer : Unlimited yoga for 10 days
Boy oh boy, loving Nearly every moment of it :)

1 of the best part bout yoga, other than it's the only form of exercise that I can sorta do is when the instructor asks you to lie down still, focus on your breathing, forget about the day, forget about what you've just done, what you're about to do, just focus on inhaling and exhaling...

Back to the very basic of survival; breathing, where all you can hear is inhaling and exhaling and at that moment, there isn't a single worry in the world !

To Sister with Love

2008-01-07T00:54:00.000-08:00

A simple, elegant bouquet but filled with all the sisterly love in the world! Thanks Sis ! For a moment there, I thought I have a secret admirer :p Lol..Thanks for being the steady rock, the one always there for us! Happy New Year sis!! Wish I'm there or wish you're here, wish the distance is merely erm...a bear? Lol.. LOVe ya !! HUGs*

New Year's Resolution

2008-01-06T23:43:00.000-08:00

New Year's a good time to reflect on the past year but with the hope and optimism of a better one ahead, it's a time to set new resolutions, whether you remember them is another thing :p

The fireworks in Melbourne was simply beautiful, a blast to kick start the year ! I wasn't big on setting resolutions so this year, my 1st resolution is to set some resolutions :

Lose weight ! I mean live a healthier lifestyle; moderate eating, exercise!!

Focus on work and not fall asleep while working :p I mean seriously, be good at what I'm doing and doing it well and passing all my CA subjects !!!

Attempt to do something different or something new everyday ! (No CC not the karma sutra kind :p) CK's always been saying that I'm a coward (not exact words but somewhere along those lines) and hence, doubt my ability to go on a DT to Africa or work in the area of social development. Well, there might be some grains of truth to that so I aspire to push myself a little bit more, do things that I usually wouldn't do. Any ideas? Jeannie, I need more inspiration from u !!

Spend time with family and friends far far away :)

Get my driving license and learn how to cycle! Yes, Hello My name's Veronica and I can't cycle!

Well all these will change so anyone can ask me at the end of the year and hopefully hopefully, I would've achieved something ! fingers crossed* Here's to a great year ahead, 2008, a year of hopes, dreams, love and inspirations :) CHEERS !

ObsesssSESSSSSSsesssssSSSionsss

2008-01-02T03:28:00.000-08:00

I'm proud to announce my current obsessions :

Tada....

FRANKIE mag!!! I heart* heart* this magazine!! From the glossy pretty covers to the witty articles and soo gorgeous illustrations, I savour it from page to page, word by word, I actually read it as slow as I can so that it lasts longer, hehehe...damn it only comes out like once every 2 mths, but do not mistaken it as a girly mag ! Nonono, (shakes head and erm...wiggle finger?) anyway, yes it's definitely worth a read, it was like love at first read ! I got a free copy during O-week, that's when we first met and as I look at it and well it just lies there on the table, I can practically feel the chemistry!! Let me tell you what else you can do with a FRANKIE magazine after you read it, make pretty pretty cards and scrapbooks for your frens, paste it on a wall, a board, anything so for a heart warming, erm..love hugging read, do pick up a copy at the nearest book shop ! Damn they should pay me ! and yes what's with the heart* heart* thing? What happened to the four letter word?

L-O-V-E ! L is for the way you look at me, O is for the only one I see, V is Veronica is Very Very extraordinary :p, E is for erm...I forgot and yes, I read bout this in Frankie too !! Hehe...

Hongkong dramas!! Yes to avoid the loneliness and emptiness of my house, I've turned to the tv for comfort thus, in 2 days I've watched 20 episodes of my fav, Hongkong drama (clap hands*) and although they are very typical; yes rich dad, idiotic spendthrift son, family rifts....but I reckon this one's a bit different, as much as it has the Omg not this again, there's a highly heart-warming albeit unrealistic side too, yes I'm a sucker for heart-warming stuff :P and I think there're some underlying lessons behind all the drama; that with a good family, you can achieve so soo much, love and support and just a simple happy family's one of the most important things in life, a rare gem! Something that can be taken for granted or yearned for life and just to add, money's the root of all evils!!! But ya I was so obsessed with this show that I was like thinking bout it erm...lets just say alot, like different scenes kept replaying in ma mind! OH gosh...

Lastly, Carlton Gardens!! Well not to the point where I'm obsessed with it but I would just like to mention it's the 2nd day of the year and I already went jogging!! Omg, I can so feel the positive vibe, I'm gonna be healthy and lose 5 kgs this year!! 10 days unlimited yoga classes starting next week ! Can't wait :)) Anyway so yes Carlton Gardens, I decided to go for a jog cz the weather is absolutely awesome these 2 days, pls plss let it be like this everyday, the warm sun with the light breeze....I was jogging and jogging and thinking pfft Princes Park better but yeah that's cz I wasn't used to the idea of huge arse buildings in the middle of a park but I stumbled upon a really beautiful lake/pond just opposite and to the left of REB ! Damn the uni for blinding us and scarring us from seeing the beauty of this place with exams! But yeah I was surprised I haven't seen it before...of coz dear ol uncamwhorish me didn't have a camera with me to capture that moment (I'm so bringing CK there :p) and I couldn't find any photo of it too so once again, imagine a lovely pond with lots of plants in it, happy green flowy plants ! and ducks and I think swans and don't you just love Melbourne !! *Sorry I think this is a really nice picture to go with the moment although I didn't actually see that and since I'm blogging dumb, I'm not sure if it's legal to put up someone else's photo that I searched on the net up so to erm...Tim I think, nice photo, don't sue me !

SO that's it ! What are some of your favourite things at the moment? What do you draw inspiration from and finally, if you're a teapot, what kind of teapot would you be? Round and cute or Proud and expensive? I'll be this teapot pls :)

Daddy & Mommy's Lil Girl !

2007-12-30T07:50:00.001-08:00

So first post I dedicate to my Mom and Dad!! I never thought I'll miss them so much, I supposed I got used to having them around for the past 11 days, it's always good to have family around, I mean yes you hang out less with your friends and all but it's definitely worth it ! This bout of homesickness started in 2nd year surprisingly, mainly cz I don't know when exactly I'll be going home...I've always thought that I wanted to stay in Australia but now, I don't really know anymore. I suppose Msia will always be home no matter what ! Just that everyone doesn't wanna work there..Hehe..which is sad of coz. Msia's a great country but just that there are certain things to be fine tuned and nothing will improve if everyone especially the overseas grads just leave the country ! Okok...I'm sorta a hypocrite cz I'm sorta not in the country :p

So yeah brought Mom and Dad around plus ma brother too with CK as the designated driver! Unfortunately the weather's pretty bad plus my lack of sense of direction (made them walk all the way to Botanical Gardens from Fed Sq on their very 1st day here but hey I still navigated CK around successfully), I don't think they enjoyed themselves that much plus some pretty bad selection, cough Puffing Billy cough cough! hehe..But still I put in quite a bit of effort so hopefully, it'll give them a lasting impression of Melbourne :)

So I've realized my writing so far isn't very reflective, they're more like informative so I'll attempt to change it slightly. What I've realized is if I hadn't been all depressed from the idea of not going home and moped around, I could've planned my trip home actually but oh well, maybe it's all fated ! I mean think OPTIMISTICALLY next time !!

And another shout-out for Mom & Dad & bro, thanks for making my graduation a memorable one !!! ( More on that in the next post ! )

So why Soliloquy?

2007-12-30T05:45:00.000-08:00

Yes yes, another reason why I've postponed the birth of my blog is I couldn't think of what to name it, it's pretty important, like naming your first born, I mean not really but u get what I mean :p

So Soliloquy pretty much means "A (usually long) dramatic speech you make to yourself intended to give the illusion of unspoken reflections". Yes, I do have a lot of unspoken reflections and the problem with that is since they're unspoken, they're not very clear and I've always had a problem with expressing myself clearly so hopefully, with this blog, I'm able to articulate my thoughts and feelings and yeah, Tada!!

I'm probably gonna start from the front as in presently and recall my way back; At the moment, I'm feeling nostalgic and my butt hurts from sitting on the floor cz I have noo freaking study table ! So there, the pic's supposed to symbolize a very reflective mood, so imagine it in black and white, sorry I don't know how to change it...

Why oh Why??

2007-12-30T05:25:00.000-08:00

SO so..the time has come for me to have a blog, I've contemplated on it for a long long time but always pushed it to the back of my mind simply cz I don't think I can write well but pffftt who cares how well I can write ?? Ain't gonna start writing poems or whatever good writers can come up with..

The main reason why I'm having a blog now is simply cz it's the end of my uni life and so much has happened in these 2 years and I can safely say that it might be the best 2 years of my life; the things that I've done, the people that I've met, the passion that I've discovered, and I wanna remember all these! Trust me, with my absent-minded erm..mind? I might easily forget like all the good movies that I've watched and sank into depression during my working life which I am not very looking forward to..

Like what Liss said, she's gonna miss all the people that has touched her life here in Melbourne but as for me, I'm not leaving but I'm still gonna miss so many moments and people ! So I suppose this blog is a tribute to these people, these moments !